Mother’s Guilt Antidote

Yet again in the press this week a new study confirmed that modern mothers are constantly wracked by guilt.  Apparently this time, not earning enough money or being able to give the children the attention they crave top the list.  The research was commissioned by babycare company, NUK and Joanne Evans, their Head of marketing asserted that most of the guilt was totally misplaced.

We have blogged on this subject in many guises because we realise it is such a big issue for us mums.  Not only that, it holds us back from enjoy being a mum and certainly from rediscovering our identity as a woman – because guilt robs us!  It’s interesting that ‘lack of time and money’ are the basis of the top guilt activators.  At MTAM we hope we don’t just talk about our issues or even just identify with them, we hope we provide you with encouragement, support and even ideas and solutions to the problems we face as mums and women – or at least some food for thought!

Below are the top thirty guilt triggers released this week from NUK’s study and below that you will see links to some of our blog posts that we hope help to tackle that guilt head-on and kick it to the kerb so that you are free to be the best mum you can be while rediscovering your identity as a woman at the same time.  Remember, a happy mum is a happy child!

These are the top thirty triggers:

1. Being too busy to give my children more attention

2. Not being able to afford everything they want

3. Not going on more days out

4. Not having more patience

5. Relying on the TV to keep them entertained

6. Not earning enough money

7. Feeling too tired to give my kids the attention I think they need

8. Returning to work after my maternity leave

9. Working long hours

10. Working late

11. Telling my children off

12. Wanting to have time away from my children every now and then

13. Putting my child into nursery/childminder

14. Not having more money to spend on new clothes / toys for my children

15. Not being able to afford to go away on family holidays

16. Wanting to go to work instead of being a stay-at-home mum

17. Not having enough time or money to provide freshly cooked and healthy meals

18. Arguing/bickering with my partner in front of the children

19. Spending too much time and energy on the household chores

20. Not going on holidays abroad

21. Not going to enough baby / toddler groups

22. Having to leave them with someone else to go to work during the school holidays

23. Not helping more with homework

24. Telling my children white lies to avoid having to answer difficult questions

25. Feeding a baby formula milk instead of breastfeeding

26. Being a stay-at-home mum and not bringing in any money

27. Leaving my baby to cry and self-soothe

28. Sending my children off to childminder / nursery / school when they are under the weather / poorly

29. Checking work emails / taking work-related phone calls when at home with my children

30. Not giving them a sibling

MTAM posts by us and guests which tackle some of these issues:

Finding me-time

Ten ways to stay positive, happy and healthy in 2013

First steps to rediscovering your identity

Flexible work for mums series

Work/Life balance

Motherhood and creativity

Tips on being a guilt-free mummy

Working mum V Stay at home mum

Search our website for many more relevant blog posts.  We also have an abundance of posts on days out and activities to do with your children that are fun, low cost and stimulating for you too – just search our site.

Let’s continue to support and encourage each other as mums and say NO to guilt!

Mums wishing to participate in the Guilt Free Guide to Babycare should visit NUK’s Facebook page to post their stories of guilt or its Twitter page and post with the hashtags #NUK #guiltfree

 

 

 

3 comments

  • Mothers really are expected to be superhuman by some people, including ourselves! You’re right, it’s wrong, and feeling guilty all the time helps no-one in the family x

    • morethanamummy

      Our thoughts exactly! In fact we do everyone a favour to put the guilt aside and carve out a little ‘me-time’ so we can operate out of a healthy head-space!

  • It’s so hard to get the balance right. Am trying to combine freelancing with being a mum.

    We have a lovely childminder who kids love but my 2 y 9 mo old gets so angry with me for leaving him – he sometimes refuses to talk to me when I come home! (13 month old of course is totally fine with the arrangement). It’s so awful!

    But I really believe that looking after them both full time wouldn’t be best for any of us.

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